No matter how long you've been with your partner, you might find yourself wishing you had your own pad. You know, one that wasn't littered with his dirty socks all over the floor or where you could cook whatever cuisine you please, no matter that lingering smell he loathes. But once you say "I do," you figure learning how to live with one another's quirks is part of the package. Unless you're like some couples who claim that living in separate homes is the key to marital bliss!
Claire and David Burke are one of these said couples, who despite being together for 14 years, married for two, and parents to a 6-year-old boy, live in two different homes, about seven miles apart from one another.
The Burkes claim it's the perfect arrangement for them, one that even some of their friends envy. They "never take one another’s presence for granted and spend more time together" than more conventional couples who "tend to pass their evenings in different rooms anyway," Claire explains to the Mail Online.
David agrees, noting, "I adore Claire and always look forward to seeing her, but I can’t imagine ever wanting to wake up beside her every morning. I like my independence and would feel claustrophobic."
Ouch. He'll readily admit that because he saw his parents argue constantly as a child, and was unhappily married once before, he never wants to feel "trapped" again.
But when they found out their little boy, Jay, had Down's Syndrome, David considered moving in. In the end, they decided to "live apart together," and Jay spends two to three nights at his dad's, the rest at his mom's.
Sounds more like separation or divorce than marriage, right?
Sure, we all have different needs and living situations -- these days especially. Plenty of people are living together and passing on marriage, while others remain unhappily married, staying together under one roof "for the kids." But the idea of being married and having two different mortgages still feels completely wacky.
Even if it's a bit of a trend -- if it's safe to say that based on a New York Times piece that ran last year -- it feels counter to what marriage is supposed to be about. Compromise, commitment, loving someone despite their traits you may not love being around 24/7, etc. -- all of this comes into play when you share a home.
Also, isn't marriage about fostering a partnership, presenting a united front, teamwork? How is that really possible -- or at least as possible as it could be -- if you're living under two roofs?
Hey, ultimately, to each their own. If living apart keeps a couple's marriage afloat, who is anyone to judge them? But it does seem like couples who live apart together are missing out on a crucial aspect of marriage -- even if they believe they're better off without it.
Have you ever thought about living apart from your husband while remaining married? Do you think it defeats what marriage is really about?
