You’ve resolved to hit the gym more and eat a healthier diet this year. While you’re at it, why not add one more important goal to your checklist?
Make 2015 the year you take your bedroom ability to the next level. From perfecting foreplay to expanding your playbook, here are six simple sex resolutions that can actually stick.
1. Be sexier outside of the bedroom.
Too many men think good sex starts with foreplay and ends the minute you disengage. It doesn’t. Stoking the flames of your girl’s lust requires plenty of advance work, says Emily Morse, a “sexologist” and host of the popular podcast “Sex with Emily.”
Send your partner texts telling her what you most enjoyed about the last time you two got together—and what you plan to do to her the next time, Morse advises. Mention that you plan to start things with a sensual massage, or a romantic dinner. “Words are powerful aphrodisiacs, and the brain is her most important sex organ,” Morse adds. “The right words plant seeds in her brain that will get her thinking about you and keep sex front and center in her mind.”
2. Fine-tune your foreplay.
Great sex is really all about great foreplay, Morse says. Her top tip: slow everything down. Prolong your makeout sessions, slowly undress your girl, and get to know her other erogenous zones—like the nape of her neck or the insides of her arms or legs. “The best sex comes to those who are patient,” Morse adds
3. Teach your tongue a thing or two.
A lot of men struggle with oral, Morse says. “The vagina can seem like the Rubik’s cube of sex, but it doesn’t have to be that much of a challenge.” First of all, she says guys think they need to lick really hard directly on the clitoris, which is usually too intense for most women, especially at first. “Instead, spend time licking around the area,” Morse suggests. Later, once your partner’s warmed up, try slowly breathing on her clitoris with a very soft cool stream of air. “Follow up with a warm stroke of your tongue. The contrast of the cool breath and the warm tongue will be just the added twist you need to send her over the edge,” she says.
4. Clean yourself up.
Poor hygiene is one of the biggest sex-drive killers, Morse says. And when it comes to your below-the-belt appearance, a little manscaping is a good idea. You don’t have to do anything drastic: Using a beard trimmer, take your pubic hair down a bit so you look neat—not bare. “No need for fancy shapes or designs,” Morse jokes. And there’s an added bonus: “Less grass makes the tree look taller,” she says.
5. Tweak your tried-and true moves.
If you’ve been with the same person for a while, sex can seem like a movie you’ve both watched so many times that you know all the lines. Doing what you always do can be comforting—but it’s also boring. Morse suggests this easy adjustment: Move things to your couch, where your girl can brace herself against the back of the seat while she’s on top of you. This position gives her more control, and grants you easy access to her breasts and clitoris.
6. Invite a friend to the party.
We don’t mean a threesome. “Lose the belief that sex toys are only for women,” Morse says. If you’ve never played around with a kinky gadget, she recommends starting with a vibrating penis ring like the Meo from Je Joue ($109, jejoue.com) It pulses against your partner’s clitoris during intercourse, and provides both of you with new sensations. Feeling more adventurous? While it’s not for every guy, a prostate stimulator like Vibratex’s Black Pearl ($90, drugstore.com) can seriously expand your sexual horizons, Morse says.
