Sometimes it feels like there is an unspoken rule when it comes to breaking up over the holidays—one that says not to do it. It's easy to fall into that mindset; after all, the holidays are full of sentimental spirit, romantic opportunities at every turn, and a cultural script that tells us that there is nothing worse than spending the holidays "alone." But when it's time to break up, it's time to break up, no matter the season. And here's why.
1. Your partner might feel even more betrayed after the fact. Real talk: Getting dumped sucks, and you're not going to make it suck any less by postponing it a few weeks. In fact, you might even make it worse, says Rachel Sussman, relationship expert and author of The Breakup Bible. "A breakup is so painful to begin with, then [you add] this dishonesty that you've been sitting with this in your head and you've been mentally checked out of your relationship." And while there's no guarantee that they would know you stretched it out, dumping them right after the New Year is kind of a dead giveaway. Yeah, that's going to sting even more.
2. You don't have to buy a present for someone you know you won't be with in a few months. Because come on, that money is better spent on those shoes your mom has been lusting after or the concert tickets your best friend will be super-excited about.
3. You won't have to see him in holiday pictures for years to come. Save yourself from the most awkward reminiscing with future generations ever: "That's your grandma and grandpa, that's your uncle Anthony and aunt Amanda, and that's me and...the guy I broke up with eight days after this photo was taken."
4. If you put it off once, you'll put it off again. You're not going to want to break up with him right after the holidays, either. Next thing you know, it'll be Valentine's Day, and you won't want to dump him then. There is never a good time to break up, says Sussman, so do it when your relationship calls for it, not your calendar.
5. You can kiss whoever the hell you want at midnight. Smooching your soon-to-be ex-boyfriend when the ball drops will be about as romantic as it sounds, we promise. Get him out of the way so you can make out with someone you actually want to ring in the New Year with.
6. You don't have to fork over $400 to visit his parents this Christmas. A visit with his family is likely to come with a lot of pestering about future plans, discussing your relationship, and bonding with his family—a.k.a. the world's most expensive guilt trip.
7. You don't deserve the mental stress of being with someone who you don't want to be with. Chances are, your intentions for wanting to put off your breakup are good because you obviously don't want to hurt him and ruin his holiday. But Sussman says you have to keep yourself in mind, too, and to remember that staying in a relationship past its expiration date can be hugely stressful. "Why should you sit through it and wait? Why should you have to suffer through the holidays?" she says. "Putting yourself first doesn't mean that you're selfish."
