As counterintuitive as this may sound, there are in fact some things worth lying about to your significant other, at least until after you're married. Why rock the boat by telling your girlfriend she showers like a common canine? Or risk losing her by revealing your obsession with all things Star Wars? Do the smart thing and save these revelations for later in your relationship. Way later.
Yeah, you should love each other just the way you are, but a little white lie can sometimes go a long way and do more good than harm. Here are all the instances when it's OK not to be totally honest with your lady - seriously - as compiled in this ingenious Reddit thread.
Lesson: No matter what you do, stay away from talking about...
Her Bathroom Habits
I didn't realize until after we lived together that she can't keep the bathroom floor dry. When she showers, I feel as though half of the time she points the shower head at the ground outside the shower. When she gets out, I imagine her shaking her body off in canine fashion.
If she washes her face at the sink, I visualize her saying "one handful of water for me, one handful for you" (to the floor). - SeldonsHari
Her House Habits
That she doesn't close any doors! Getting a glass for a drink? Door stays open! Getting silverware? Drawer stays open!
Its 4am and you are getting ready for work. What's that?? A F****** DRESSER DRAWER!! HELLO, HUMAN SHIN. WOMAN F****** CLOSE SHIT. - Cambridge_
Her Fave Food
When I was about 20 and my parents had been married for 29 years my Mom said she was going to make squash with supper. My dad's response was to say "No thank you. I never want squash again." My mom was all WTF. My dad's response was that he had eaten it because a) she liked it and b) if you want your kids not to be picky eaters you suck it up and eat whatever is served. We were all astounded. - Dog-boy
Her Driving Skills
I have always been at least a tiny bit nervous being the passenger when my wife drives. It's not that she drives poorly, she just has a very different respect for the rules that I take for granted, like signaling before changing lanes, speed limits, merging and keeping distance between other cars. You know, small stuff.
She confessed something that really surprised me: she acquired her Russian license with the aid of two bottles of Cognac, given to her instructor prior to the ride-along to ensure a passing grade. TL;DR: In Soviet Russia, drinks drive YOU. - PolarRelic
Her Dishwasher Skills
That she loads the dishwasher like an a**hole. It's my biggest complaint about her. I'm a lucky man. - becausemaybe
Your Secret Collection
I confess I didn't tell my wife that I had a magic the gathering collection worth thousands of dollars until after we were married. - Lavamancer
Your Bizarre Hobby
We weren't married yet, but close. Him, sitting on my kitchen floor "Oh! Have I not told you about the skulls? " Me: "The skells? Skills?" Nope, skulls. He has (present tense, people) a box of flesh eating beatles. People from all over the country send him the heads of animals they've hunted and killed and he cleans the skulls and sends the skulls back to them for a trophy. I chose that guy. - burlysilverstar
Your Parents' No. 1 Wish
His father brings us to a meeting to explain to me that my now-husband is the 23rd generation first born son since the beginning of the family, thus insinuating that I would be f***** if I didn't give birth to a boy. We have a daughter. - toomuchkalesalad
The Health Problem You Don't Know You Have
My husband has some kind of crazy allergic mutation that makes lemons like sulfuric acid on his tongue. For serious, his tongue gets burned. To be fair, he didn't know that was unusual until after we got married. My fav dessert is lemon bars and he thought I just liked burning my own face off. Cute twist: he would still make and eat lemon bars with me every year for my birthday until we found out. Then he got lemonbanned. - thetofuprincess
Your All-Time Fave TV Show
A few years ago, after about 15 years as a couple, 7 years of marriage and one child together, I accidentally found out that my husband is a huge Star Trek fan. I walked into our bedroom one day and he quickly changed the tv station, so naturally I asked what he was watching. He reluctantly confessed, and was obviously very embarrassed to have to tell me that he watches Star Trek all the time when he is alone. I find it hilarious that he was so embarrassed about that after all those years. To this day he won't watch the tv show or older movies with me; he says I ask too many questions. - 2babybirdies
